How to Not Be Successful and Not Have a Career as a Book Author (Introduction, 1.1)

You’re lucky you stumbled on this blog post today because if you have dreams of being a successful writer and a full-time book author, with no other “day job”, then I’m saving you a lot of time and heartache by letting you know…it’s nearly impossible. I have the best advice around the Internet on how NOT to be successful and how NOT to be a paid (well) book author.

Sure, there are enough blog posts, magazines, and books to tell you exactly how to be a successful writer and do things correctly–probably enough to fill up the Grand Canyon and then some. But how many of these resources have honestly told you: look, here’s what most writers do and why most writers have no success. Most writers really do have to work day jobs they hate. Don’t you want to know that? Don’t you want a taste of realism?

Of course, you do.

So on this blog, right here, Editor 911 (You’re Projects Are My Emergency!), I plan to write a series of posts on how to do everything wrong, to ensure yourself you don’t have success–everything from not being consistent with your writing time to never sending your work out, from not attending any kind of professional writing conference to sending your queries to agents and editors complete with gifts, or even better as an attachment to an email. And why am I the perfect writer to be your resource for un-success?

I’ll tell you–I don’t like to make things easy for myself. I change my mind constantly on what I want to write. I have three books published, none in the same genre or for the same audience. I have ideas for a pretty successful romance series or even a commercial novel, but I never work on them. I spend a lot of time on social media or watching Netflix, in the name of research. I have lost years of blog posts on children’s books because I didn’t back them up. Should I go on? I think you can see, like the Baudelaire children in The Series of Unfortunate Events, that I’m an expert at recovering from things going wrong–in my case, it’s in my writing career.

So the first post with some real “meat in it,” and not this drivel you’re reading now that I’m calling the introduction, will be on writing routines and writing consistency because after all if you’re really good at avoiding writing time, then you will guarantee that you will not be a successful writer and that you will have no books to publish.

I would let you know when that next post will be live, but see, that would be something a successful author/blogger would do. Schedule posts at regular times, so interested readers know when a new post will be live. Heck, I even taught a blog course once, and that was one of my main pieces of advice for building a blog audience. But since, I’m now into no success because writing success is just so darn hard, you’ll have to come back and visit this blog when you get around to it and hopefully find the next article in this series.

Until we meet again,


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